I’ve never created a guild before.
- I have been a member of many.
- Officer in at least one and that was pretty big 300-400 members)
- One of my alts was even promoted to Guild Master of one (ok, it is a bank guild, but hey I’ve held the position before right…)
But I have never started one from scratch, not even one like Armaggedon’s Coming which has no purpose beyond appearing in screenshots.
So how was the process?
The Blizzard “paperwork” part was pretty painless. It would have been more painless if I didn’t adopt the “male DIY read the instructions as a last resort” method of guild creation.
Sure I checked where the Guild Masters were located… ie: somewhere in Stormwind (and the other major cities)… In the Visitors Centers… Like I had ever been there before in 4.5 years!
But read the guild charter, or even the icon to work out how people sign it…?
Pffff Hahaha… That’s for lesser mortals!
I knew the basics. You get the charter, then run toa starting area and spam your
request at the hundreds of newbies in the zone.
I would never stoop slow low as to do blind charter signings… I don’t like blind dates, surprise birthday parties, blind group invites or blind charter signings.
So I went to the trouble of crafting a polite request for signatures, then I slammed it in /say
Then I spammed it in /yell
Then I added 1 gold to the offer and repeated the process.
It soon occurred to me that the one or two people in the zone (where is all the fresh blood) must be complete newbies that couldn’t even move their characters or work out how to chat, because no one responded.
I actually got someone to sign!
Sure I chased him down the road… But he gave in eventually… Almost willingly!
This is where my male DIY failed me and I had to read the instructions.
On my way back after my initial success I managed to score another signature.
This guy even wanted to know the name of the guild and it’s purpose… Don’t know if you are reading this, but if you are… Hi and thanks!
Then there was the guy that turned up and just stood in front of me… Finally he asked:
Being the kind of Gnome I am, I immediately opened my trade window, deposited 15 gold and went and got a beer, watched some TV, watered the lemon tree and when a group invite appeared from my mate, accepted the summon and disappeared…
Whoops… Sorry, I was just making you earn your 10g… Which I forgot to pay you…
Once the party disbanded I took the portal again. Ran around Stormwind for a while, but only got one signature out of the dozen or so unguilded toons (no I won’t hassle guilded folk).
Mr. Tree offered me the soul of his baby lock before he logged for the night (it was getting late by this point), but I decided I needed to troll new and more fertile grounds.
My hearth and Astral Recall were both still on cooldown, so I was forced to take public transport of the Gnomish variety, something I try to avoid.
Ironforge was a little better and soon (ha!) I was only 3 signatures short.
The rest of my whispers fell on deaf ears, so I mounted up and headed to the Gnome/Dwarf starting zone.
I nearly made it before I got a whisper from Ironforge. It was a long way back for one signature, but one signature on the charter was worth two in the starting zone.
This is where total strangers made my day. I was invited to a party with not one, but two total strangers… Both of whom not only signed up, but offered me best wishes!
Yes I am prepared to beg!
Mmmm one short, only one thing to do, totally abase myself and beg Mr. Offspec…
I love you Mr. Offspec. I can’t believe I have ever said a bad word about you (Ohhh that’s right, it’s Gnomer that’s got issues… Not Squidly).
He not only signed up, but patiently waited for me to Port to SW to create the guild, hearth back to Dalaran, hand over guild leadership, waited while Squidly logged off, Gnomeaggedon logged on, invited Gnomeaggedon to the Guild and promoted Gnomeaggedon to GM.
We Haz Tabbard kk
So job done… Oh hang on, no self respecting two-bit vanity guild is complete without a tabbard…
Now it was getting late, around 3.30am, but Gnomeaggedon would rest until he was properly attired.
It took a long time before I found that garden gnome. Once found, there were no difficulties with the color scheme. Gnomeaggedon is “green” and he lays waste with fire!
Green Gnome on a Red field… Perfect!
There is a little bit of me that feels guilty about dropping my guild, even though they didn’t know who I was. Even though I haven’t run with them since April.
I know that this is going to make it impossible to join another guild… but the reality is I have been unguilded most of my 80 levels, whether I wore a tabbard or not.
Wanna join my exclusive club?
So now I have my own guild I can start strutting my stuff in trade chat!
We are a non-friendly, non-family,uninhabited, non-raiding, non-progression guild on the Aman’Thul Server playing at times that suit no one. We don’t have a guild bank…
But we do have a tabbard!
Seriously, who wouldn’t want to be a member of this exclusive guild, with all it’s benefits, that only asks for one thing in return from it’s members. I mean, come on, what’s a 20,000 gold annual membership fee between friends?
What, you thought I was a silly Goblin. I’m far too lazy for that. I’m a smart Gnome!
Don’t worry the 20,000 fee gets redistributed amongst the share holders… All two of me!
Guild Master Gnomeaggedon and Out, Raid Leader Squidly and Stout!
PS: I am not specifically promoting Swagdogs gear.. it just seemed like a great way to capture some images, but as I grabbed them from their site, well if you click on them, you will go to Swagdogs.. Of course if they want to give me something out of the generosity of their hearts… well they can click on the link too😉
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