I guess not, most likely it is some Troll trophy hunter wondering how to mount us on their wall.

I guess we look like an easy target, I mean if you can punt us, surely you can kill us, right?

I would suggest, that we are a little bit harder to kill, or if you do, there probably wont be anything left to mount.

Anyway, tusks are are requirement of a trophy right?  Still to mounting Trolls or maybe Tauren.

Of course, if it is the Gnome sex kind of thing you were looking for.. maybe we can talk...

Umm.. we like it when you tall females wear your shortest skirts.  It doesn’t really matter in the end, we will just walk right in there and take a peek anyway, but it’s nice not to get tangled in the long shirts.

Why you would be looking for that here I’m not quite sure… we all know Mages don’t wear skirts, we wear frocks!

Good…

• Good for you on your choice of menu item for tonight.
• Good for you on choosing to participate in Azeroth Iron Chef
• Good for you on your improved grammar.. you Orcs seem to be getting smarter, I dare say that is Thrall’s influence, god forbid that Thrall should go away or you will all return to the uneducated drooling rabble of the past.

Just one search for this?

There are lots of Oh Shit! Macros out there, because of course there are lots of situations you will need them, multiplied by different classes and specs.  I will share a few with you here.

The “I’m standing in it” OhShit macro

/y OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!…

/cast Ice Block

/y Phew!

The “My DPS is so awesome I always get the bosses attention” macro

/y OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!…

/cast Invisibility

/y HaHaHaHa, you can’t see me!

The “Ice block and Invisibility were on cooldown” macro

/y OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!, OhShit!…

/y ………………………………….

/y damn can someone spare a Battle Rez?

I haven’t been to BG 2010 yet, but I expect it is like all the traditional ones.

Queue, Kills stuff, COMPLETE OBJECTIVES, Kill some more stuff, WIN, profit.

To make it easier, join a premade.

Of course Blizzard i their infinite wisdom have decided that (until Cataclysm where you HAVE to be in a premade to get (good) rewards), your premade raid group can be up to any size – BUT ONLY 5 OF YOU WILL GET IN.

WTF?

Yeah, here’s a game you can play with you mates.

The most sensible way to ensure a victory in BGs is to play as an organised group.

Therefore, we wont allow it!

Imagine LK25 with only 5 people from each “premade” raid group.. yeah, good thinking Blizzard.

What I do (apart from occasionally grabbing 4 mates – well there might be more, but only 5 of us can queue), is I run with a group on the Bloodlust Battleground called QueueQ.  Cross-Realm Battleground premades FTW!

Meh, only got a 100k honor on Saturday…

Which pretty much amounts to “down with the Horde”.. nuff said.

Yes, yes it is, it is awesome fun.

Nearly as much fun as Fire Mage suicide fun.

Stay alive and the fun just keeps on coming.

LOL

From what I understand it is a BAD PvP server… not in the “we can’t PvP our way out of a wet paper bag” kind of way, more in the “we will dominate your mother, sister and ohh you have a little brother… especially if you play on a RP server” kind of way.

That said, I play with a lot of Blockrock folk in QueueQ, and they don’t seem so bad… mind you, we are slaughtering the Horde, so that might take their minds of slaughtering the RP’ers.

Battle Ground Scoreboards that have the title:

To be honest, this Gnome hasn’t had much time for reading lately, but has been listening to a whole lot of podcasts. Strangely few of them have been WoW podcasts.

These are my current favorites, that have blown my mind and may well blow yours.

• WNYC’s Radio Lab
• Stuff you should know
• ObscureCast
• Answer Me This!
• Dr. Karl’s Great Moments in Science
• Dr. Karl on TrippleJ
• Dr. Karl and the Naked Scientists
• Twisted Nether Blogcast

That’s a whole lot of fail in a few search queries.. not sure why they came to me… can’t even remember what I was going to write here, so moving along…

Ummm?

Totally lost me with this one.

Why would anyone search for Me and a Fish?

Is there a fish that will be the end of the known Gnome’s world?

Maybe it’s a new recipe… whatever…

Nice… a tip nobody reads about turning off tips nobody reads.

Gnomer and Out!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.

http://gnomeaggedon.net/2010/07/07/googledgnome-69-been-a-while/

“huntard” +signs

You need sign posts… they are generally pretty obvious!

Even though I am an ex-hunter, from way back in Vanilla, I am a Mage come Shaman these days and it would be entirely inappropriate of me to spell out the ways that Hunters prove that they are Huntards…

I’ll leave that to the Hunter Bloggers.. let’s face it, they will be shamed more by the existence of Huntards.

can mages heal

Ummm Derr.. of course we can!

Gnomeagedon has several posts all about it, the most recent being when he participated in the Circle of Healing non-meme.  He even got a category all to himself!

wow raiding drinking games

Now we’re talking…

Set that raid to hardmode…  line up the shot glasses… One shot per wipe…

The bottle will be finished before the 2nd boss!

can resto shamans pvp?

NO!

How many times does Squidly have to tell you that Horde Resto Shaman can’t PvP!

We Alliance will eat you and your babies!

If you are an Alliance Resto Shaman, then yes you can PvP… I’m thinking of forming a 40 man Resto Shaman BG raid.

Imagine the Horde BG chat.

Kill the Healer!

Ummm which one?

No one will be afraid to use Chain Lightning, it just wont matter kill one and 39 more will fill their place!

will you get xp if you disconnect in wow

Permanently? No.

Temporarily? No… well maybe, if you are quick and get back online before your mates finish the job.  Otherwise you get no experience as you had no experience apart from watching a loading screen.

dpsing as a mage without taking aggro

You want to DPS AND not take Aggro?

Let me just check my rule book…

Mmm as I suspected.. DPS = Aggro.

Simple answer is to do nothing… maybe wand a little. (How many Priests have I run with lately that do nothing but wand… all instance long?)

Otherwise…

• Install a threat meter
• Stay below the tank.. up to a maximum of 30% above the tank, if at range and if the mob doesn’t drop aggro
• Use Invisibility.. early on short fights, later on long fights
• Buy a new tank.. how the hell is a Mage pulling aggro off a tank in WoLK? Your tank is shite!

something somebody somewhere

Somebody, Somewhere searched for Something like this?

Bizzaro world!

im struggling in outland

I’m struggling in Australia… but what are you doing there anyway?

You should be able to get out of there in 2 zones, 3 tops.

Go to Northrend… roll around in the piles of XP left lying around in the snow

Never go back to Outland.

wow mage how to limit down time

• Use Evocate, Use Gems
• Don’t cast spells
• Pee in a bottle
• More importantly, don’t die!

Seriously, at low levels it can suck.. so suck up that conjured beveidge you got in your bag… later one, but a pet pally.

does a gnome have four fingers

Technically I would suggest 3, because one has to be an opposible digit commonly referd to as a thumb, and I am pretty sure my teachers frowned upon me calling my thumb a finger.

wow fail

Why do people constantly come here under the search term WoW Fail?

Has someone listed this blog as the place to read about fail?  They are my stories…

Ohh.. that’s right, I wrote about the wowfailblog previously

squidly’s shaman pvp tips #1: resto ftw!

Not once, but twice today someone searched for this… the entire title of my post.

Which means:

1. Someone remembered the title, but not the blog
2. Someone found a pirated version of my post and was looking to find the original
3. Someone doesn’t know how to bookmark pages… but has a photographic memory for post titles.

Enough… too much…

Later…

Gnomer and Out, Squidly and Stout!

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.

http://gnomeaggedon.net/2009/11/05/googledgnome-69-did-someone-really-search-for-that/

Duel Specs

Freyja is Hawt

How do I kill Arthas

I didn’t want to, but apparently there are GoogledGnome fans out there.

With 3.1 in PTR, there are some Google searches that are bound to come my way. Just to help the probability gods, I will write about them in advance.

Duel specs

Bejewelled specs?
Did you mean bejewelled specs? Man that in-game mini-game just got a lot more complicated. I would suggest referring to your Guild forums, they are bound to want you to spec certain ways depending on the flightpath in question.

Dueling specs?
I suggest Banjo. That way when the Devil comes down to Georgia you are ready and waiting at the Crossroads.

Maybe you meant PvP dueling specs. Ahhh why bother, you know you are crap 1-on-1. Stick to AV calling down fiery doom from a distance.

Dual spectacles?
Bifocal lenses maybe? Some Engineering goggles? My suggestion is go new skool and get some laser correction.

Find yourself a skilled Gnome Arcane practitioner, none of those spec swapping flavor of the month Mages mind you. No you want a diehard Arcane Mage to burn your retinas out, otherwise you risk two new eye sockets in the back of your head.

Dual Specs?
What, fire isn’t your one and only true love? Pffft, I have no time for you two timing, mechanostrider keys in the bowl, spec swapping fools!

If you must spend the money on two specs, make sure they are identical! I will allow different gear and glyph sets.

Freyja is Hawt

Funny that. I once had a real life love by the name of Freyja.

She was hawt!

So hot that I spent hundreds, no thousands of dollars in the bar she was a barmaid. From 10pm till 6am I would woo her. But like all the fickle Norse gods, she never gave me more thought than to know my drink order.

How do I kill Arthas

Can you kill Arthas?

I think he has more lives than an enchanted cat.

No, I don’t think you can kill him, but maybe you can piss him off enough that he will leave you alone.

Hold a party, but don’t invite him.
You won’t need to, he is everywhere, he will know.

Hold it between Hillsbrad and South Shore. Make sure it’s a big techo DOOF DOOF party, he will hate that. He will turn up in his 80′s shoulderpads with his slab of beers and bottle of Southern Comfort and will go and sulk in a corner.

He will probably try to crack onto a few Elves, which of course will be his ultimate undoing, and he will run home to Mummy after his 10th rejection (though not before having a messy chunder behind the Alterac Mountains, and all over his best party shoes).

LF enchants.
Finding a Party To hard? Well, knowing what pisses me off, those incessant whispers, so throw a few back at him.

After all, he wants to constantly whisper in our ear, so let’s get our guildies together and spam him.

[You] /w Arthas:  LF enchant
[Arthas] /w You:  Sure, What you want?
[You] /w Arthas:  don’t know, what can you do for belts?
[Arthas] /w You:  Can’t do belt enchants!
[You] /w Arthas:  noob! How about trinkets, what you got for trinkets?
[Arthas] /w You:  Can’t do trinket enchants!
[You] /w Arthas:  noob! Go visit a trainer! Give me a back enchant then.
[Arthas] /w You:  Got the mats?
[You] /w Arthas:  noob! You don’t have them? OK, just wait there while I check AH, log onto Alts etc. Bbk in 20 minutes – don’t move and don’t serve anyone else!
…20 minutes go by…
[You] /w Arthas:  OK back, give it to me big boy!
[Arthas Enchants Cloak]
[You] /w Arthas:  thxcyabye
[Arthas] /w You:  Hey, what about a tip buddy?
[You] /w Arthas:  STFU noob! See You in the BG… Not!

Ignore him and he will go away
Just ignore him and he will go away.

All bully boys get tired of chasing people around eventually.

The stalking will stop, the whispers will stop.

Just go and grab a slab of beers and a bottle of Southern Comfort and wait him out.

Crystal ball Megs

Thanks to Out of Mana “I’ve got crystal balls and aren’t afraid to use them” Megs for the inspiration for this GoogledGnome

Gnomer and Out!

Using bottom scanner to buy netherweave

Netherweave, old hat?

Well I guess Death Knights and powerleveled toons will still be picking it up.

Assuming it isn’t all bought out or used for bandages, you might find some on the AH.

Anyway, best thing to do is set up a snatch for it, which will notify you if it finds any below a certain price.

Try /snatch [item] [price in copper]
The item is a shift-click of the item in question into the chat line.

Note, I am not sure at the time of writing this that bottom scanner even exists anymore, give it a go or ask at the auctioneer forums.

Gnomer and Out!

Twink take boat from rachet

Run to the end of the pier, get on boat, end up in Booty Bay.

Simple, assuming you can get to Rachet!

Good luck!

Gnomer and Out!

Twink juice 2

Hunh?

You mean the kind a Gnome oozes when they lie dead on the battlefield?

I hope so, because I hate to think of the alternative!

Gnomer and Out!

Totem+of+infliction+auction+house+price

Gnome am I sorry you wasted your time here, well I assume your time was wasted.

What’s a totem of infliction?

Gnomer and Out!

Timers towers Alterac Valley

It’s nice when someone calls out the time left to hold or retake towers isn’t it?

I must admit I went looking after someone printed them in chat one day.

I think I spent the following 3 AVs calling out tower times – I was useful!

Anyway there are a raft of them out there including Alar BG Helper, which has buttons for everything you could ever want in battlegrounds.

Go get it!

Gnomer and Out!

Armageddon

You mean the kind with big balls of fire, the living bomb of Gnome Fire Mage blogs?

I am the bomb!

Gnomer and Out!

Red riding hood wolf big balls

I am not really sure you are looking for a WoW Mage blog with a search term like that!

Anyway,

• I have big balls of fire.
• I have taken the Wolf down during the red riding hood Opera encounter in Kara.

Basically tank wolf at one door, ranged at other.

When you get turned into little red riding hood, do as the big bad wolf suggests and…

Run away little girl

Gnomer and Out!