It’s not (about) you, it’s (about) me.
Rebecca from MMO Melting Pot, on ObscureCast #28 defined Cataclysm in one word as Heroic. In the sense that in WoLK we were sidekicks in the action, where as in Cataclysm we are the heroes.
Well, I am the hero!
I know I am the hero because when I reach NPCs, even days after being given urgent quests, the first words out of the NPC’s mouth are something like….
Ahhh Gnomeaggedon, there you are. We really don’t have a chance here, but after hearing so much about you, I know we have at last got a shot.
and of course…
My you’re a tall one!
When it is all done, the quest complete, this little part of the world saved, I get something like.
You did it Gnomeaggedon!
We were doomed, but because of you the sun will shine once more, the flowers will bloom and the rabbits will… err… do what rabbits do.
I do feel kinda of sorry for you mere mortals, but feel free to live in my shadow… here, there is some space right here…
Ohhh my shadow is like that of the BG gear vendors in Stormwind, impenetrable.
Ohhh well, watch your step… Don’t trip on my shadow, I’m not paying your repairs nor throwing you a heal.
The upside for me (downside for you) of my amazing reputation, is I can do things, anything…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Teleporting
I find myself teleporting around the world. Don’t bother tracking me down, one moment Stormwind, next Dalaran, why not visit Tol’Barad.
I don’t do this for any particular reason, except…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Portal for you
I have the power of portals at my finger tips. Need to go somewhere, I’m your Gnome.
If I’m in the mood, I might even take you on a tour, like that guy in Dalaran the other night that was a little lost.
I do this…
BECAUSE I CAN!
No Portal for you!
Just as I have the power to give, I also have the power to take away.
I don’t subscribe to Gazimoff’s policy (which isn’t to suggest I disagree) of:
If you expect me to leave these quests which earn me 20 gold a pop, then you better be offering 50 gold for that Port
After all “Time is money friend” and it’s not just about a 40 silver reagent.
I do subscribe to the philosophy:
Get your arse over here now or no Port for you! .
I had a guy ask me for a Port in Stormwind the other day. I invited him to group and when he hadn’t arrived several minutes later I kicked him.
What was that about? He whispered.
You expect me to stop what I am doing to come to you to give you a port where you want to go? You can use shanks pony! I replied
I did this…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Yes I can CC.
Polymorph is important again, I’ve got it and I know how to use it.
I might just sheep the tank target purely so I can hear the squeal of a hit pig.
I will do this…
BECAUSE I CAN!
No I won’t CC!
You’re the tank, sort it. I don’t want to CC it because it will get in the way of my AoE.
I am a Fire Mage…
I am an AoE Mage (because GhostCrawler made me so).
I hold back my CC…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Pulling Threat
… BECAUSE I CAN!
’nuff said!
Iceblocking
You aren’t going to pick up the mobs I just pulled threat on, even though I’m standing (intentionally) next to the healer and when I Iceblock he will die, then you will die?
I Iceblock…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Pulling Magmaw
I target trash mob, but I hit Magmaw…
BECAUSE I CAN!
(but then, so too can Deadypriest!)
AoE
Ghost Crawler made me an AoE Mage, in a expansion of single target pulls.
I was made by the gods to perform a task a certain way, and by those gods I will!
…BECAUSE I CAN!
Living Bomb
The top of my tree, I throw three of them up and my nuke nukes harder, faster, stronger.
GhostCrawler made me this way
If there is a single target (like, I don’t know, a Boss) I am gimped… so don’t go whinging when I throw my Living Bombs around on trash… that is why I won’t sheep.
I Living Bomb, therefore I am (… and BECAUSE I CAN!)
Flamestrike
What?
Don’t use AoE?
It’s instant… and Fire… and it means I can’t sheep!
I do it…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Blastwave
It’s instant, it slows them when they turn to give me their aggro and it comes with a Flamestrike on the side… of course I’m going to use it!
… BECAUSE I CAN!
Flame Orb
I know it looks like AoE.. but really… truly… it’s single target (OK, until it gets to the end and explodes… then I guess you can classify it as AoE)
It’s on a 1 minute cooldown
It looks bloody great
I cast it…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Slowfalling from the tower in Tol’Barad
Look out Evel Kenevil!
Teleporting to Tol’Barad (because I can!)
Suited only in the PvP gear that so many people got for free from Tol’Barad.
Riding my best Hog (in fact, about the only place really appropriate to ride it I feel)
Launching myself off the tallest tower
Feeling the wind in my green hair
… BECAUSE I CAN!
Slowfall-Invisibility-Ninja-Cap
I never tire of telling myself this story, so I guess I might as well put it down here on the blog so I can read it over and over to myself… maybe I can find a text-to-speech program to read it to me, it will be like a rubber glove or a bucket of iced water next to the bed… ohh… maybe I shouldn’t go there.
I was in a Arathi Basin with StayLaughing and Qesta (who I mentioned yesterday) and 12 other great players.
StayLaughing asked me to guard the Gold Mine.. I love guarding the Mine… I can rely on myself to stay a node, something I can’t do with 99% of non-QQ players.
I was overwhelmed by 6 Horde…
5 I could have handled with one Fireball, but the 6th took me by surprise.
I died…
Have I ever told you how I don’t mind dying.. yeah well I don’t, it just kind of makes me want to go take that eye and that tooth.
Rezzing at Blacksmith I knew I had to head back to Gold Mine, if only to report current numbers.
As I approached the cliff I threw on Slowfall and remounted.
Launched myself off the cliff
There were still 6 of them…
But this time I would have the element of surprise!
I popped Invisibility
I floated through the air like a mote of light in a spectrum not visible to the naked eye
As I floated down, two turned to head to Farm
As I landed two more rushed off to Farm (don’t know why, we were all over it)
As I snuck up to the flag the last two Horde stared wistfully after their departing team mates.
As I capped the flag (yeah fully), the two Horde were left wondering why they were always the ones left out of the action… nothing to do… not even a flag to watch
HEY WHAT!
NINJA GNOME!
… BECAUSE I CAN!
Teasing, or is that called annoying
Speaking of being a Ninja Gnome, I am kind of a teasing (from my perspective) or annoying (from their perspective) Ninja Gnome.
Every played Battle For Gillneas?
Know how seconds matter?
Wouldn’t it be a pain if there was an annoying Gnome that for some unknown reason you couldn’t kill over the span of a couple, maybe a few, cooldown resets?
Yeah, I’m that Gnome… I’m the mosquito that keeps you awake at night, seemingly right next to your ear, yet the harder you smack, the more likely you are to miss me (and hurt yourself you poor little suckeroony Horde).
Worse… I’m the one you kill, that keeps coming back.
The one you can’t leave the node unattended for.
That you keep calling incomings for until 1/2 you team is there waiting for one.. teeny weeny, itsy bitsy Gnome, who is really doing nothing more than intentionally annoying you so you don’t get the numbers up to press the other nodes.
Yeah, that’s me.. I do it…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Dying
I die…
Lots…
Often…
Especially in PvP…
Often in PvE…
Don’t trouble yourselves healers…
I do it…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Healing myself (Squidly)
LOL
heal
I don’t die so much!
Heal
I can heal myself
HEAL
I don’t have to kite
HEAL
I don’t need mirror images
HEAL
I HEAL BECAUSE I CAN!
Piss off Squidly!
Ohhh and I have seen you in Battlegrounds lately… you missed out on Tol’Barad didn’t you…
You have no gear
You are squishier than a Mage and you have Healing Hands (sure sign of a healer in the battle ground is golden-green hands… more of a target than spirit fingers)
Piss Off Squidly!
I can say that, because it’s my blog and…
BECAUSE I CAN!
Gnomer and Out!
PS: I forgot one.. an important one.
I can eat cake!
I can conjure cake…
More cake than anyone can eat…
I don’t like wasting food, especially cake…
So I will use all my mana on trash pulls.. yes even on critters…
and then…
I will sit…
and I will eat…
when I have had enough…
I will eat some more…
Go ahead, pull…
I will still sit and eat after that fight too…
and yes, I like conjuring cake for low level characters, cause they can’t have cake!
LET THEM EAT CAKE!
BECAUSE I CAN!
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Man, my eyes are screwing with me. Looked like the first picture was moving.
Just another example of my awesome powers… why…
because I can
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Gnomeaggedon. Gnomeaggedon said: Because I can…: http://wp.me/pgTed-20O [...]
Evel Kinevel, eh? You are SO dating yourself!
At 1st I wasn’t thinking “aged”.. I was thinking “Gnome loves himself so much that he is the only one he would date… which didn’t make sense, until I remembered my references to rubber gloves and icy buckets of water… yeah ok.
Hurrah, more Gnomeaggedon posts XD
You missed one though…
Yes I know you asked for a portal to Orgrimmar but I sent you to Stonard . Why?
…Because I can (and you don’t pay attention to what you’re clicking).
I don’t engage in that sort of thing… (porting to Stonard that is)… I am more likely to teleport myself, leaving them there saying WTF?
Gnome,
Thanks for making me laugh this morning. Makes me want to hop on my mage for a bit!
Joar
My work here is done!
I love the Gnomer… why? Because he’s there! Just like any other mountain… sized heart of gold.
There’s a bear in there…
Whoops, doubt you will get that reference, it’s from an Aussie show “Play School”.
Hoping the 3 bears had a great xmas & new year!