My first appreciation of the power of STDs in WoW came from one of those (supposedly) hated sources. In fact it caused me to subscribe to a blog that really I have little to nothing in common with, yet still read and joust with on a frequent basis.
Killing ’em Slowly was the blog and the post I read was from the dirty filthy Lock of the duo. It was a perfect example of the spreading of STDs and the (im)moral victories that can be obtained through them. We can’t find that post, maybe my memory is failing, but I still clearly remember a post where a boss was killed just as the last raid member went down, one last tick of a dot from a now deceased Lock and the victory was theirs.
Of course a pure, pious, pulpit wielding Gnome like myself would never live amongst those with STDs, let alone gain one and spread it. Spread it not only without conscience, bit with glee.
No, no, never!
Never would we hear of the pure engaging in underworld activities. Never would they be caught in the arms of an illicit lover.
However, I would engage in Leprechaun like terrorist activities involving the laying of time delayed bombs that rip the face off my opponents and their celebrating friends.
You see, I am a Fire Mage
lol… get it?
Yeah, OK, whatever… I can’t be held accountable for how highbrow your sense of humor is.
Really, what did you expect from a Gnome… /serious?
Yeah it’s been nerfed, limited to 3 targets, but still the joy of the delayed kill is all mine now.
It used to be an issue in PvE, and to be honest it probably still is, if only I would get off my skinny (yet surprisingly cute) Gnomish arse and spec for PvE and run an instance or two.
I’d throw up a few living bombs, quietly Pew Pew away (yeah OK, Flame Strike, Blizzard, Pyroblast, I’d go nuts). The tank would keep everything under control, maybe use a taunt to keep the mobs in good shape, then…
hehe… all good, tank still has the mobs…
haha… this tank is good…
Ohh shit, where did I put that Ice Block again?
PvP is da BOMB!
In PvP, it’s a bit different (and how I miss the days where you could just sit on the outside and Living Bomb the entire enemy team and just rotate around them).
No one is controlling the “mobs”, the healers always have higher threat than those that can actually soak the damage, and it is so frenzied that one extra debuff dot really isn’t anything to worry about… or is it.
I’ve been scoring a ton of killing blows lately. Previously I would do a heap of damage, but when the dust had settled, I would be face down in the dirt and the damn Horde would still be healthy, still engaged.
But Living Bomb can change all that.
I may be a ghost at the spirit healer, but I still get to watch my damage scroll down the screen.
I may get taken down by 3+ Horde on the wrong side of the map (Hey, I figure I can keep 3+ Horde very busy for a good few minutes… which is about the time required for our flag carrier to pick up the flag, return it and head back for more).
The thing is that my premature death (well, they might not consider it premature) will be avenged.
While I know I should be popping immediately to get back to the fight, there are times where I just have to lie in my corpse and watch the celebrations.
What is it with these people, all jumping about celebrating the death of one annoying Gnome, High Fives everywhere? I know when I beat a bunch of Horde, I wander off a good 10-20 yards, just in case my team mates are infected with some disease that will haunt me for the rest of my short life.
No, these guys jump about, practically hugging, sharing the glory and the…
So sad, too bad!
So beware the green haired Gnome (I’ve still got my hair, even if I now have a ferret face without my beard), that likes to rub against your in night clubs and battlegrounds.
Make sure you are using protection, because this loving Gnome wants to share his STDs, his living bombs. He wants to cackle from the grave.
Remember Silly Transmitted Deaths are my forte.
Living Bomb is my tool
Gnomer and Out!
PS: I’d like to thank John (ha, bet you don’t know who I am talking about do you!) and Rebecca for coming through as Mo Bro’s and Mo Sista’s. Spreading the word about men’s mental health and prostate cancer is as awesome as participating in Movember.
As for the rest of you, feel free to spread the word, or spread the Mo, or just splash the cash ($1, $2, $5, $10, $1,000 I don’t care how much you give to save lives).
Consider this, 1 in 5 people will suffer from depression at some point in time. Many families are 5 member families. That means one of your family (or at the very least friends, work colleagues, or maybe that fella that sells you a coffee in the morning) is thinking the “unthinkable”.
Think of it this way… it costs you nothing to join the team. Once you join the team, you get all sorts of options for spamming those you know and love with the message of Movember. some of them will give, some of them will learn, some of them will be saved.. and it hasn’t cost you anything!
I wont even mention that the Movember sponsors actually throw freebies at you (which may not be of benefit to you if you live overseas… but it’s the message that counts!)
You can give via Visa, Mastercard, Amex or Paypal.
Paypal, perfect for those abstained coffee donations
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