Armaggedon's coming!

I think it’s because I am a terrible cook.

Actually, that is probably giving my culinary expertise too much credit.

I am no Dr. Bombay!

I was married to an awesome cook for a while. She was one of these people that could visualize a recipe, imagine how it would taste, pass her nose over the cooking pot and tell you that it needed a pinch, or a spoonful, more salt.

Me… I can cook pancakes – damn good pancakes, plain, boring, but delicious pancakes.

Way too clean…

However put me in a stainless steel, high tech kitchen and my pancakes at best come out tasting the same, often… well there is something missing.

I assume it’s bacteria!

Way too cold…

It’s the same with ice confectionery. I can make ice-cubes and chill beers in a freezer, but I am just as likely to spill 1/2 the water on the way from the tap, or forget the beer and become reduced to either licking beer icicles from the freezer wall, or doing an early defrost and cleaning up with a straw.

Cooldown management I guess… Not for me.

Juuuust Right!

However, give me a BBQ, or Barbie, or Braai, or whatever you call it in your part of the world and I come into my own.

I can burn snags and chops with the best of them. If there isn’t 3mm of charcoal protecting the snag I haven’t done my job right.

I can pick the burning snag and twist it, flip it, throw it to the ground and rinse it off with the beer in my other hand before you can say blast wave. (although the 10 second rule applies at any BBQ where a dog isn’t a resident)

Hot steaks are my forte. I can stack all the meats dripping with fat in the one place and delight in the 2 foot flames as the fat explodes.

I can cook your chicken wings well, or black… black is my personal preference, I like to know that chicken is dead before it leaves the BBQ, but I’m easy.

This is why I like FIRE!

Now if RL was split into trees I would be 71 points Fire.

No salad tree supporting my fire tree – just pure fire.

I might spec a little way down the bread & butter tree… Only as far as the Dead Horse talent, but to be honest there isn’t much difference between sauce pouring and improved sauce pouring… apart from the stained T-Shirt that is.

Being a PvP Fire Mage I don’t mind the blood spattered, dead horse smeared look that I get from my raging battle to capture the napkin.

I guess I need to spec a little way down the improvised Esky tree. There is no excuse for warm beer unless it’s the last stubby in the house and it rolled under the washing machine.

But honestly, how far down a tree to you have to spec to break bags of ice into the nearest laundry sink or bathtub?

So you see, fire isn’t just in my WoW, it’s in my belly and on the grass in the back yard. It’s 42 Australian summers burned into my soul that scream…

FIRE!

Gnomer and Out!

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http://gnomeaggedon.net/2010/04/16/if-arcane-is-s…-why-do-i-fire/