No, not the pretty flower variety…
I’m pretty sure I have bitched about this before, most likely in a throw away line in a throw away post.
The thing is with my increased playtime, the increased gear availability, overgeared alts, the ROLFSTOMPA heroics and the LFG Naxx10 must have 5,000 GS and ICC achievement mentality that seems to permeate the game right now, it just seems that every time I enter a raid I am surrounded by…
One Wipe Pansies.
What is a One Wipe Pansy?
Maybe the most common example of their occurrence is the best way to answer that question.
Very Overgeared Arseholes!
Err, I mean VoA. 10 or 25, it makes no difference, although the effect is more pronounced in VoA25.
Wintergrasp is won, again (I think the Alliance take pity on the Horde and offer it up for few hours each day on Aman’Thul… mmm did we just lose it… everyone must be raiding).
There is a flurry of
Invites are sent out real fast if anyone responds. Bodies to fill VoA are always hot property.
Summons follow the same model, no sooner have you accepted the raid invite than the summon request hits you.
Raid chat is filled with
1 if you are heals, 2 if you are tank. OK, GTG, zone in!
9/10 I don’t have to zone in because the summon came from a Lock inside the instance.
Most of the time these guys seem very professional.
Koralon, here we come.
Easy one shot with the occasional death. I swear sometimes the fire appears under my corpse a second after I drop, but it’s a rarity that I go down, I know fire burns… I am the master of Fire 50% of the time!
Off to Emalon.
We all know it’s a reasonably simple fight.
- Don’t stack up
- Run like buggery from the explosion
- DPS the boss like you life depends on it.
- DPS the Overcharged Minionbe cause your life DOES depend on it.
All being well, 3-4 target swaps and it’s all over.
Now I say “we all know this”, but obviously there are people that don’t. More now than ever. The LFD/Weekly Raid/Emblems of Everything changes mean that some people that were previously happy slaughtering Hogger during their 3 hours of playtime each week can now enter (and theoretically perform fine) in an entry level raid instance.
Hell yeah! Realistically the bosses have become easier as time has gone along (or gear flowed from the heavens), so this is now a 15 minute entry level raid.
20 minutes if someone took the time to explain the encounter…
What, no one does?
Of course not, everyone knows how to do VoA right! Right?
Let the drama begin…
So the Minion overcharges, “everyone” swaps targets and after 1,2,3 overcharges we wipe.
Douchebag1 leaves the raid.
Cocksure the Arrogant leaves the raid.
Ican’tbelieveit’snotbutter leaves the raid.
Ummmm, guys… Did we just lockdown a raid ID after killing one boss out of three, then toss the other two bosses to the wind?
Seriously guys, that was most likely the last wipe we will have, so why not stick around, complete the raid ID, get our emblems then chuck a hussy fit?
Give me a show of hands (behind closed doors)
Maybe even explain the fight 1st, no need to ask for a show of hands, just explain the fight so that those that haven’t done the fight before don’t have to embarrass themselves owning up to their ignorance.
The other night I went in with Gnomeaggedon. Being the good little Gnome I am, I switched targets, I even kept my instant pyroblast as my opener on the Minions.
We get the 2nd Overcharged add down and then silence… Well apart from the /raidquits and accusations of DPS ARE FUCKING NOOBS THAT DON’T SWITCH TARGETS.
But here’s the thing. I saw him go down, as did a few others and we shared that knowledge. I checked recount, yes 2nd one looks the same as the 1st, and that didn’t kill us.
I saw the DPS bolting across the floor to DPS the overcharged… Something went wrong, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.
The strange thing this time around was that the rest of the raid stayed put and we went on to do the bosses sans pansies.
When the last boss fell, about 10 achievements popped up on the screen. There were a few groans, lols and one
Since when did a 1st boss kill become a source of embarrassment?
The guy that uttered those words was one of the achievers (Gnomeaggedon was another one FYI, I guess the pansies have been around for a while, or I haven’t raided much on Gnomeaggedon).
I checked him out… I’m hoping he was a healer because there was no damage on the board. Still as a healer he was barely above those that popped health stones on the meters.
Still, at this point in the game, when tanks are pulling 3k DPS and many DPS are pulling 7.5 in crappy heroics, there is no great loss in a few of the overwhelmed, under-informed newbies “underperforming”
Blame the Overachievers
I actually question the underperforming bit because experience has shown when you have Overachievers they tend to suck the opportunities to hit the meters. Shaman do this naturally with chain heals.
Anyway, if you are a One Shot Pansy, pull your head in a /raidquit 10 minutes later… at least after the 2nd or 3rd wipe.
I think from now one I am going to ask people that don’t know the fight to join my private channel (xxxSquidlyDoesGnomereganxxx) where I will explain the fights to the newbies out of the glaring veiw of the Uber Pansies.
Why start with the boss the One Shot Pansies are happy to leave after?
Ever done For the Alliance or For the Horde.
General principle is do Thrall last.. that’s the only one people want!
Likewise I would suggest that raid leaders start the bosses from the bottom up. A lot of these raid pansies are intending to drop group as soon as the best boss is dropped… they just need an excuse. So make them wait for it, make them stay if they don’t want to waste the raid ID.
I know the old strategy was to start on the hard boss, if the raid couldn’t down that, then no one got saved and nothing was lost. But times have changed, and so have attitudes.
As BBB says (god I love BBB, and I know I’m not alone), it’s time to bring out the stick, there are already too many carrots!
Gnomer and Out!
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.