Armaggedon's coming!

Now we’re talking!

I am being appreciated for what I am, who I am… DPS!

Sure it took a Shadow Priest to acknowldge me, but Gnomeaggedon has a lot to say on this subject, so thanks for the invite Cassandri, let me begin.

Whoah there little Gnome! What make you think Cass was talking about you?

Ummm Mage = DPS in it’s purest sense, so of course she is talking about me.

Pffft you think you can heal, but I can’t DPS? Step aside little Gnome before a cloven hoof tattoos your bald spot!

Cassandri brings us up to speed:

In truth I don’t think about DPS much when I’m writing for Hots & Dots. I’m much more philosophical about healing, PVP and people, probably because I don’t really understand any them at all. That’s what I tend to write about.

A Q&A for DPS (unnamed) was started by Death Goddess. I thought it was a great idea and it was very sensible of Death Goddess to let the temperamental healers and tanks have their moment in the spotlight first. I refuse to subscribe to a blog written by a Death Knight so I had no idea that this was actually started a couple weeks back.

First off, let me send you round to read some of the great posts that I’ve read in this circle: Spazmoosifer talks about Shadow Priest DPS and Roxxon actually came up with some pretty profound stuff for a Mage (OK Gnome highlighted this very important word).

I’d love to hear Cynwise talk about his Warlock – we have so many raiders entering the discussion and not enough PVPers! I’d also like to hear from Gnomeaggedon since I find myself nodding my head furiously whenever I read his posts.

Lettuce Begin

What is the name, class, and spec of your primary dps?

Gnomea-ooofffff-geddon. Hey watch your elbow! GNOME FrostFire Mage (Gnome being the most important part)

Squ-Owwww-idly. Get your staff out of there! Some-Time Elemental Shaman, always DPS, even when healing.

What is your primary dpsing environment? (i.e. raids, pvp, 5 mans)

Gnomeaggedon: In bed, I DPS them girls till they forget their names!

Squidly: Fool Gnome, just because you are spending more time offline than on doesn’t mean you are mixing it up with Oomaggedon… Anyway, I saw her 1st and she came to visit me!

For the record I primarily DPS in Instances when there are Holy Priests that don’t know how to Shadow.

I will throw out the odd offensive spell when I am healing though… I need an excuse to drink.

Gnomeaggedon: When I can be bothered logging on it’s 5-10-25 man stuff in that order, heavily weighted to the 5 man end at the moment. A few months back it was 10 man or nothing.

What is your favorite dps spell/ability for your class and why?

Squidly: Whack a Gnome. I use Healbot to try to thump the Gnome Mages over the head with a rank 1 LHW… Don’t want to overheal!

If there aren’t any Gnomes, then it’s a toss up.

Chain Lightning cause it’s way pretty. FlameShock+Lavaburst for pure hurt.

Gnomeaggedon: What? Just one? I have multiple toolbars full of them.

Frostfire Bolt… Mmm the scent of fire with the crack of ice!

Living Bomb+Flame Strike + Blizzard… Mmmm Scrolling Combat Text make my PC hurt! The mobs don’t feel so good either…

What dps spell do you use least for your class and why?

Gnomeaggedon: Easy… Anything beginning with Frost* or Arcane* there, that takes out 60% of the irrelevant Mage abilities. Basically if it doesn’t burn I don’t like it.

Squidly: Earth Shock… I know I should… But I don’t. Still, unlike the Gnome I don’t discriminate on school/spec

What do you feel is the biggest strength of your dps class and why?

Gnomeaggedon: Strudel, Portals, Heals, Tanking with a bit of DPS on the side.

Squidly: BUUUUFFS. Pick a group comp, any group comp. Pick an encounter any encounter. You need it, we got it! We can also heal on the side, but I’ll leave the tanking to the Mage.

What do you feel is the biggest weakness of your dps class and why?

Gnomeaggedon: Apart from Health? We aren’t weak, we is killing machines!

Squidly: Threat. I can generate it plenty, on as many mobs as I want… But a partial dump on one target, on a cooldown?

In a 25 man raiding environment, what do you feel, in general, is the best dps assignment for you?

Gnomeaggedon: That’s a bit sexist isn’t it? I want a 24 girls + 1 Gnome environment. Mmmm Gnome Lurvin!

If I have to work for my place, then give me trash… Or a boss.

• Trash for instant gratification.
• Boss for the heart stopping frenzy of DoTs and Instant “I’m wiping that big evil grin off your face” Pyroblasts.

Squidly: Mmmm 15 man more or less. No raiding experiences to date, but lots of Battlegrounds.

Of course in that environment my role is more about killing the Horde via heals than DPS. Heal my mates, let them be the long arm of my DPS.

What dps class do you enjoy dpsing with most and why?

Gnomeaggedon: Fried Chickens – I loves me some extra Boomkin Crit ya in the face you wussbag of a boss!

Squidly: Anything that will take a hit, or over aggro me. For once I think I agree with short stuff. Fried Chicken tastes good!

What dps class do you enjoy dpsing with least and why?

Gnomeaggedon & Squidly (In chorus): I don’t think they are a class, at least I have never found them at the character creation screen, but they are the NOOB and they have to have as many specs as there are classes X 3.

Many of them tell us they are experienced, so all I can do is feel sorry for all the lives they have ruined.

Luckily Cass put a disclaimer on this statement:

Or Mages. They’re so selfish about keeping Focus Magic to themselves. And they can out-DPS me so easily. That hurts.

Like this:

Gnome Mages and Gnome Death Knights are the exception. I can’t stay mad at something so cute.

Otherwise the answer would have been a whole lot more specific…

What is your worst habit as a dps?

Gnomeaggedon: picking my own target.

1. I can’t see over everyone’s head to target theirs and
2. By the time I have wound up my spell the bloody rogues have already bust the mob down.

This means I am always one boss ahead of the raid… and…

I need 10 tree Druids in the raid for Battle Rezs.

Squidly: DPSing as Resto and forgetting my tool bars are now set for heal rather than hurt.

I get great numbers on the healing meters, not so much on the damage meters.

What is your biggest pet peeve in a group environment while dpsing?

Gnomeaggedon: no one respects my tanking or healing abilities.

Squidly: Bosses and mobs that make the healers life hard. I want their healing love, so leave them alone!

Do you feel that your class/spec is well balanced with other dps?

Squidly: Apparently we are awesome, so we must be.

Gnomeaggedon: Apparently I am awesome, so we must be.

What tools do you use to evaluate your own performance as a dps’er?

Gnomeaggedon: The oooohhhhs and aaaahhhhs from the crowd.

Squidly: am I alive? I must be better than the average goo standing DPS.

What do you think is the biggest misconception people have about your class?

Gnomeaggedon: that all we care about is our position on the meters… Obviously we care about the phat loot as well.

Ohhh, and that we can summon!

Warlocks have love in their hearts and summon you to be close.

Mages port you to the opposite side of the world.

Squidly: that cause I am a Shaman I can take a few hits… Which I could if I wore mail, but why roll on mail when I can pinch cloth and leather for my offspec?

What do you feel is the most difficult thing for new dpsers of your class to learn?

Gnomeaggedon: DPS doesn’t matter. Damage does, while means staying alive, which in turn means many of our utility spells are as much, if not more, important.

Squidly: totems. Which totems, when. Also that it’s all the other things that make a Shaman cool. Interrupts, buffs, debuffs.

Don’t worry so much about yourself, lift the team!

What DPS class do you feel you understand least?

Gnomeaggedon: Warriors… Why don’t they sink when they jump in the water?

Squidly: Mages, how can a class with so much Intellect be played by so many dumb people?

What add-ons or macros do you use, if any, to aid you in dps?

Gnomeaggedon & Squidly: all of them!

We downloaded all of the WoWwiki macro pages and the entire Curse addon database and shoved it kicking and screaming into WoW.

• If you have more than 3 fps you arent trying hard enough.
• If you can actually see the mob you are meant to hit, your screen isn’t cluttered enough.
• If you know what is going to happen when you press that keybound macro you aren’t living on the edge.
• If your tool bars aren’t filled with ?, where is the fun in the game?

So basically every skill is macro’d and often more than one addon does the same thing… But at least when my whole screen if flashing I know to move out of the goo… Even if my fps won’t allow it.

What stat to stack, and why?

Gnomeaggedon: Beauty. If you aren’t beautiful, you won’t get a raid spot, which means you won’t get to do DPS.

Look at Jong and Megan, you think they get their raid spots based on ability?

When Jong rips the buttons off his shirt people stand up and oooohhhh aaaaahhhh.

He hasn’t even started DPSing yet!

Squidly: BEER! More Beer and a home delivery bottleshop.

If you can’t play your character when you are plastered you just can’t play!

This is the problem with PvE players. Everything is scripting and timing. Throw in a psuedo PvP encounter, or god forbid actual PvP and the players go to pieces…

But, but, it spoils my rotation! The training dummy didn’t fight back, it’s not fair that the mobs do!

See the human mind is a nasty piece of work. When you first learn your class you are flexible, you have to be because you can’t be sure when that spell will finish casting or when your cooldown will pop.

But in time, you can close your eyes, turn your back, play guitar hero with your toes and still put out theorycrafted DPS… Because you brain is now conditioned to know how long 2.3 hasted seconds are, where the ohh shit button is etc.

So that’s where beer cones in.

Drink till you can’t find the keyboard and you are trying to turn your character with your cell phone.

Then, only then, will you Starr to become a good player. You have absolutely no choice. It’s either perform, or go get another beer from the fridge!

BTW Blizzard, 1-30 seconds of BG reserect time is not long enough to go to the fridge, have a smoke and water the lemon tree… Please change this!

Ohhh you are a teetotaler?

Simple solutions:
1. Start drinking
2. Keep drinking
3. Last resort, change your keybindibgs before every raid, before every boss if it’s becoming too easy. It’s like drinking, but without the overflowing recycle bin and the empty bank account.

Gnomer and Out, Squidly and Stout! (Stout – that’s an alcoholic drink with more vitamins than your average 3 course meal… Great for breakfast as well!)

The End

Gnomeaggedon & Squidly: What, that’s it? We have only drink 1/2 a slab each… Give us more!

Gnomeaggedon: When the bloody he’ll are those uppity plate wearers going to invite me to write their Tanking questionnaire… More brains in their butts even with Arcane Brilliance!

Hey Kriz… Heard you were nearly unemployed… 50,011 words down hunh! About time you told us how awesome your Deeps is!

Larisa, Oi, come out of your cellar, tell how you do it!

Ummm, are there any other DPS bloggers out there that haven’t done this yet?

Well here’s your challenge, do it now, say I told you to, before someone else does it at my request.

Gnomer and Out, Squidlys crashed under the lemon tree… Ewww yuck!

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http://gnomeaggedon.net/2009/11/19/now-were-talking-dps/