Armaggedon's coming!

Yep, strong words coming from a Mage.

Gnomeaggedon got an in-game mail from his Shaman mate Squidly.

Hey Gnome, what is it with Mages?

Some of you use those brains Blizzard put in your set bonuses, others, well let’s just say they are selfish and unaware.

If I ever ask you for water, you will pop a port and deliver a brewery of water barrels, and a feast fit for kings.

If I ask another Mage, it’s like a whisper in a void. Repeated requests may, at best result in 10 or 15 waters.

Squidly

Hey Squid, how’s it going, still trying to replicate my awesome Magely powers with the assistance of a few sticks?

Hang 5 in Shattrath, I’ll be there before you read this mail.

Gnomer and Out!

The Shattrath discussions

Hey Squid, since TBC, Mages have struggled with groups and there have only been a few things that we have been wanted for:

CC

Gnomer: CC hasn’t been the feature in Northrend that it was in Outland. Often Warlocks were more desirable that Mages, unless there was a CC requirement.

Did the Mage that pissed you off use CC?

Squdly: Mmmm not that I ever noticed. Not when pats got tangled in our pull, not when the Mage got in trouble, no not ever.

AoE

Gnomer: Oh well, the other thing Mages are known for is AoE. In Northrend the AoE skills are the most desired of Mage skills and many an Outland run was sped up with AoE.

Was your Mage not CC’ing because he was so involved in AoE?

Squidly: no definitely no AoE. He was single target the whole time. Possibly a good thing as he was often pulling aggro.

DPS

Gnomer: Ahh pulling aggro. That’s a good sign. Mages have had ups and downs in the DPS stakes, but we are in a good position right now. Sounds like he had that together at least.

Squidly: Ha! Mage DPS my arse. This Mage was bottom of the meter. Not that the DPS was that great in that run anyway, but he was only pulling 220DPS, where I was pulling 440DPS.

Yeah I was Elemental for the run, so I was expected to be up there. I even pulled aggro a few times, but I was smart and returned the mob to the tank, assuming I didn’t finish it off myself.

Meanwhile the Mage was pulling aggro like he was ninja’ing purples. He even had the cheek to have a go at the tank.

I have run with this tank many times before, in fact I spent the night clearing Ramps with him the other night. He’s a great tank, a pleasure to heal or DPS for.

I did suggest to the Mage that he picked the DPS target and maybe use some sort of threat ability. Shouldn’t he use invisibility or Ice Block occasionally to save his own skin?

Arcane Intellect

Gnomer: Yes, he should have been using more skills than just his pew pew skill.

That said he wont be picking up Invisibility until level 68, but surely he had his Iceblock skill out on his toolbar, he has known that for nearly 30 levels.

Doesn’t sound like he was the best of Mages, but at least he gave you Arcane Intellect?

Squidly: What does that look like again?

Maybe, occasionally, maybe…

Food & Water

Gnomer: Well, if there is one thing that Mages are wanted for it’s our food and water.

Costs us nothing to make and keeps the group going.

Even in our darkest days Mages were added to raids just to summon food and water, throw out an Arcane Intellect, then they would be kicked.

You were supplied with nourishment weren’t you?

Squidly: Now you come to the heart of my problem.

I’m either a mana using ranged DPS caster or a healer. Water is the spice of my life. But it’s harder to get water from a Mage than it is to get blood from a stone.

I ask in party chat, multiple times, I beg in whispers, multiple times.

I BEG!

Do you know how much that hurts?

Gnomer: Mmm well that us strange. I always make up a pile of water and food as soon as I log in, for sharing and personal use. I always pop a table at the first opportunity. I don’t mind if people don’t use it, but I always offer and provide.

Squidly: Never offered… Never! I am getting tired of begging, so I have decided that, in future, after 2 requests for water, I will send a different message to the Mage.

If you make me beg for water again, I will make you beg for every heal you get!

Not just Mages

Gnomer: Well that’s fair enough. It will probably help train the Mages too. Some of them are new to the class and need a little education.

Of course you aren’t just having this problem with Mages are you? You are having problems with all sorts, including Shaman.

Squidly: Ohh too true Gnomer. There was the totemless Shaman the other day. There was the DPS warrior that didn’t understand,

Get back, boss is coming…

Of course he paid for his mistake and was told by the tank that this was his lesson learned.

It reality the Mage must have been a newbie. He didn’t know what Invisibility or Iceblock were when I mentioned them.

He also ranted for 10 minutes at our healer on that run, because the healer won the roll on the caster staff off the demon boss.

He demanded that the caster take the staff off the next boss if it dropped, but then proceeded to open trade windows… Including during the next boss fight… He was do busy QQing about the staff that he was blocking the healers screen and preventing him from healing. I assume he wasn’t DPSing while he was QQing, not that his DPS was missed.

He then refused to drop a portal until he got the staff… In fact in the end he just ported himself out…

Selfish Mage!

Gnomer: Well Squid, it looks like you have to educate your group mates. Sounds like you are encountering a fair portion of the new player base. I suggest you stick with your great tank and train the other players to support your needs.

Either that or don’t heal them until they learn, or just kick them.

Ohh one other thing, Blizzard isn’t kind in making food and water choice easy.

You see the skill ranks don’t indicate who can use the food or water, only the conjured items themselves. Which is a pain, because your friendly Mage may have to conjure a stack or two before finding the right one.

I suggest you make a request for specific water, just to make life easier.

Here is a list for future reference.

• Conjured Muffin Learned by Mages at level 6 and requiring level 1 to consume it
• Conjured Water Learned by Mages at level 4 and requiring level 1 to consume it
• Conjured Bread Learned by Mages at level 12 and requiring level 5 to consume it
• Conjured Fresh Water Learned by Mages at level 10 and requiring level 5 to consume it
• Conjured Purified Water Learned by Mages at level 20 and requiring level 15 to consume it
• Conjured Rye Learned by Mages at level 22 and requiring level 15 to consume it
• Conjured Pumpernickel Learned by Mages at level 32 and requiring level 25 to consume it
• Conjured Spring Water Learned by Mages at level 30 and requiring level 25 to consume it
• Conjured Mineral Water Learned by Mages at level 40 and requiring level 35 to consume it
• Conjured Sourdough Learned by Mages at level 42 and requiring level 35 to consume it
• Conjured Sparkling Water Learned by Mages at level 50 and requiring level 45 to consume it
• Conjured Sweet Roll Learned by Mages at level 52 and requiring level 45 to consume it
• Conjured Cinnamon Roll Learned by Mages at level 60 and requiring level 55 to consume it
• Conjured Crystal Water Learned by Mages at level 60 and requiring level 55 to consume it
• Conjured Mountain Spring Water Learned by Mages at level 65 and requiring level 60 to consume it
• Conjured Croissant Learned by Mages at level 70 and requiring level 65 to consume it
• Conjured Glacier Water Learned by Mages at level 70 and requiring level 65 to consume it
• Conjured Mana Biscuit Learned by Mages at level 70 and requiring level 65 to consume it
• Conjured Mana Pie Learned by Mages at level 75 and requiring level 74 to consume it
• Conjured Mana Strudel Learned by Mages at level 80 and requiring level 80 to consume it

Gnomer and Out!

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http://gnomeaggedon.net/2009/09/28/
mages-piss-me-off/