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Things you don’t want to hear when you are 2/0 in WSG

Daddy, I need to do a poo!

I had waited 1.45 hours past the announced up time for our realm.

Extended maintenance was announced for a pile of realms, but nothing mentioned about the Oceanic realms – none of which were available – the Oceanic tab wasn’t even visible.

The most commonly asked question in the downtime forum

When are the Oceanic servers coming up?

Not a peep from Blizzard… Bad form Blizzard!

Finally

Finally the server comes up and I sign up for the daily BG – WSG.

Excellent that the dailies are now (3.2.2) chosen from your level range options, as now the daily BG will truly be a daily.

Unfortunately (maybe fortunately in the long run, just not this morning), the other change is a BG won’t start until both teams are full (3.2.2).

So more waiting…

At last

Finally WSG invite pops and it looks like a great team. Lots of communication, roles selected and away we go.

The 1st 15 minutes is hard going, every one of our attempts blocked, but we keep trying.

Then we pull ahead 2 quick flag caps, the score is 2/0 with only 8 minutes left on the clock and a great defense team.

Oh shit! Poo!

Then I hear a plaintive cry from Odin’s bedroom.

Daddy

Damn, he’s awake. It will be OK, we will 3 cap in a minute and he will get my full attention.

Daddy, I need to do a poo!

Under normal circumstances these are the words you want to hear from a toilet training 3 year old.

But just not right now…

Dad: You want to do it in the toilet or your (night) nappy honey?

Odin: The toilet Daddy.

Dad: OK, let’s go…

Odin: Actually Daddy, I would like to do it in the potty today, maybe the toilet tomorrow.

Plus another minute of soliloquy

OK Honey, here you go, daddy will be back in a minute…

Back to the battlefront

Run back to PC, rush to our flag room, get taken down by the invading Horde, manage to get out

Tunnel!

Before I hear…

Daaaadddyyy! Spider Daddy, there’s a spider behind me!

I turn to see my little dripping boy come running to me in fear.

We run back to the potty.

I do a Naxx badge run on the spider (one shot), but discover a full potty and a big puddle on the floor…

Time to wipe bum and clean floor and send Odin to watch Telly Tubbies (his choice, not mine).

Deserter!

Run back to PC, buff and start running down field, only to disconnect?

No not disconnected, sent home with a deserters buff.

Damn!

Is it polite to talk about Poo in BG chat?

All my fault, I should have said something in chat before I ran… I wonder if…

brb, 3yo son needs to poo

…would have stopped them flagging me?

I paid in more ways than one

As further punishment, I then got to go and properly clean the potty and floor.

Odin followed up with a beauty

Daddy come and move my chair so I don’t get square eyes from the TV

It got worse after that, breakfast can be a nightmare with a child, especially when the cooked meal he wants was finished by his mother the day before and the next 3 breakfast dishes get rejected one after another… only one piece of toast; not enough sultanas in the cereal; the toasted mayonnaise sandwich was not meant to be cut (despite his specific request)

Deep Fried Butter

Finally, completely off the topic of poo (some may argue how removed this is), I hear Tree Hugger Dave is on a plane heading to the US.

Have a great & safe flight Dave, bring me back something uniquely American…

Maybe like that deep fried butter I head about on Outlandish Podcast.

On second thought… Eat it yourself.

Gnomer and Out, Squidly and Stout!

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wsg-20-what/