Daddy, are you working?
Yes dear.
Why Daddy?
Because my Gnome needs new clothes.
Why daddy?
Because the big bad monsters put holes in them.
Why daddy?
Because they think Gnomes are nice to eat.
Are they daddy?
No honey. Gnomes taste funny.
Why daddy?
Because they have lots of chilli and burn your mouth and tummy.
Yuck daddy, I don’t like chilli.
Do gnomes eat monsters daddy?
Yes honey, my gnome cooks them and eats them.
Like mummy does?
No honey, I throw fire at the monsters and they cook.
Do you burn them daddy?
Yes honey.
Is there smoke daddy?
Yes honey.
Does the alarm go off daddy? I don’t like the alarm! I have to run out of the house when the alarm rings.
No honey, the alarm doesn’t go off, but sometimes daddy has to run from the big bad monsters.
Why daddy?
Sometimes I can’t cook them fast enough and they try to eat daddy.
Why daddy?
Because they think Gnomes taste yummy.
No they don’t daddy, Gnomes are covered in chilli daddy and they taste yuck.
Are you playing with Uncle Z! and Uncle Tree Daddy?
Yes honey.
Why daddy?
Because we need to kill all the spiders in this house.
Why daddy?
Because Mummy doesn’t like spiders.
Why daddy?
Because she didn’t grow up surrounded by spiders.
Why daddy?
Because she grew up surrounded by safe things like lions and crocodiles.
Why daddy?
Because her mummy and daddy wanted to live in Africa rather than paradise honey.
Are there webcobs daddy?
Yes honey, where there’s spiders there’s cobwebs.
Are you killing the spiders daddy?
Yes honey.
Are you cooking the spiders daddy?
Yes honey.
How daddy?
I push this number 1 key here honey, over and over.
Can I kill spiders daddy?
Sure honey.
Can I press these other buttons too daddy?
No honey, you just need to press the one button honey, over and over.
Why daddy?
Because Blizzard thinks that’s fun honey.
Why daddy?
I’m not sure honey. I think it’s a balancing thing. If we only press one button it’s easier to balance.
If you Gnome isn’t balanced will he fall over daddy?
Yes honey, and so will all the big bad monsters.
Ohh daddy, I don’t want that. I want to cook the monsters.
Ok honey, just press 111111111. Ok?
Yes daddy.
Good boy! Daddy’s going to get a beer and sit in the back yard for a while, OK?
Ok daddy. I cooked the spiders, can I have more?
Yes honey, just ask Uncle Z!
/brb Gnome on auto attack.
This post was brought to you by Odin and the Number 1.
Inspiration provided by Euripedes
9 more days to get your Blogday gifts to me… Thanks to Euripedes, Jong, Eury and Rhii for their contributions!
Gnomer and Out!
This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported License.
http://gnomeaggedon.net/2009/06/10/why-daddy-why/
RIDICULOUSLY CUTE SIR.
thank you.. he is, and my impersonation of him is reasonable.
hahaha that’s adorable! Sounds like the many conversations i’ve had with my daughter about WoW… Good job mate
luckily he isn’t that interested just yet…
The current trade off, if he wants me and I am playing, is I hand over my iPhone and let him delete the apps.
To him blowing up balls in a game, and pressing the little flashing x’s mean the same thing…
I pay the price for my negligence…
Though, to be completely honest, I don’t make him sit at my feet… he wasn’t Daddy… he gets daddy…
Can I adopt Odin? I could use a frostbolt bot. He’ll probably do more dps than I could ever imagine.
Actually I think that’s against the Parental ToS, or EULA agreement or something…
If you map the keyboard into quarters, he might be able to handle Frostie too!
I think you are the Guru of Frost DPS… so I doubt he would pass for you…
Still, he might pass for other players we have run with…
I wonder if I can teach my dog to do that. Just push 2 over and over for arcane blast. Good dog. Hmm…well, he might need a mana gem once in awhile … and evocate. Maybe it’s not that easy after all.
I’m sure that with a bit of Pavlov’s training you will be able to get your dog to use 2 paws and maybe a nose…
If he’s a happy dog, you could use his tail for AB’s and the rest for cooldowns
That is the cutest thing ever. ^_^
“If you Gnome isn’t balanced will he fall over daddy?”
That was probably my favourite part.
He does fall over a lot… Dead, but I don’t think that’s a balancing issue
I should get my daycare kids working in shifts to do some farming for me. Hmmm perhaps it would have “sweat shop” feel. I better not:P
Tell him gnomes taste like chicken:)
Looks like you will have a few customers.
Chicken? Nothing yellow about this little green haired Gnome!
hmm, i press 2 to cook my monsters. maybe that’s what i’m doing wrong on my damage meters!
this post is awesome. wonder if i start early enough if i could train kittens to help me cook monsters. i’m sure they are going to want to try!
also, thank you for the reminder of our due-date for your blogday presents – i was wondering! i’ve been working on my meager offering…
1,2, 1/2 your keyboard. Whereever your beer naturally lands.
Kittens are too fickle. Grinding one minute, doing laps around Dalaran the next
Meagers good… Less for me to write around
Is it sad the only reason I want to have kids is to have my own farmer bots?
“Hey kids you do your chores, mow the lawn? Dust the furniture? Mine the Saronite Ore in Icecrown?
Ok here’s your 5 bucks, good job!”
You would pay them?
Isn’t room & board enough?
^^ BEST. COMMENT. EVAR.
theerivs, you may have just convinced me i need kids, lol.
Need is a strong word. Remember you are looking for payback for all that lost WoW time when they are babies
This was an utterly adorable post, coated in the sugary goodness that represents all that is cute and lovable about kids.
That said, this was a great reminder at how much I love other people’s kids because I can enjoy the cuteness and have fun . . . then give them back at the end of the day!
Yet strangely, I agree with Prelimar. Threevis’ comment ftw!
The closest I get to giving Odin back is handing him over to my wife.
Problem is he’s a boomerang.
Ah ha! That’s why I 1) made a mage and 2) had a baby. How much longer until Desdarii is able to go on autoattack?
Hehehe cute post.
Ha! If you can set up a baby play system (pull the rope for cast, ring the bell for food etc…) you could get onto this right away! How us the little one growing? As importantly, how’s parenthood treating you?
Hunters with tenacity pets are also very kid friendly.
Big Red Baby or Big Red Toddler perhaps?
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