Are you questing impaired?
This can take many forms:
- Inability to read the quest text to identify objectives.
- Inability to go in the right direction to find either the quest objective or the quest giver.
- Inability to see the quest giver or objective even though it is right in front of you.
- Inability to follow spoken directions by helpful players over vent.
- Inability to research, or worst case find quest guides.
- Inability to follow quest guides once found.
- Inability to find a location even with a loc mod or even a quest helper that clearly marks the location on the map.
- Inability to differentiate between one variety of a mob and another (eg: young & grisly)
- Unfortunate ability to delete/ store in the bank/ send to alt/ vendor/auction required quest items.
If you relate to any of these, you may be quest impaired and should seek some professional advice.
Now I suffer from all of these at some point in time, but then being male I am at a natural disadvantage.
My wife will be only too happy to tell you that I suffer from a wires form of tunnel vision.
If she puts the sauce bottle to either side of the cupboard, I won’t see it. If age puts the sauce bottle at the front, in the middle of the cupboard, I won’t see it. In fact if my glasses are on the end of my nose, I will spend 10 minutes looking for them before noticing the quizzical expression on her face and realizing how stupid I both look – and are.
I read it, I reread it, I close the quest window and think:
What do I do now?
My wife tells me that being male I have the natural ability to locate true north at any time, anywhere.
Ummm no I don’t!
Don’t ask me why when my mini map arrow is pointing north, and I want to go north, I turn around and go south.
If the quest objective/giver is right in front of me, 5 seconds away, I will spend 2 minutes running in circles looking for the spot (getting further and further away) to the extent that I will often complete other quests in my log earlier than the intended quest because I am so far afield that I stumble across the objective (luckily I wasn’t looking for it, because I wouldn’t be able to find it).
Sometimes this is a terrain thing, you know, mountain, cave, building etc. but often enough it is nothing more than my nose obscuring my objective.
I dread asking for help over vent, because I get the:
oh that one’s easy. Just go to x, pick up y, and return it to z
Commence running around in circles for 10 minutes until I ask again.
I think my mates are used to this now, because when I express my inability to find the objective I get:
hang on, nearly there, I will show you
Which is weird because when I asked the 1st time they would be starting an instance, I guess it is east enough to summon them back.
Inability to find guides.
Ok I don’t suffer from this per se, however I can’t settle for just one, I have to go to WoWhead and google, and follow the first 3-4 pages of search results before I have composed a 10 page guide on how to do the simplest quest.
Inability to follow guides.
Which leads me to this point. I can read and understand all the guides, from the quick tips in quest info sites, through to leveling guides like James. However when it comes to the execution of the instructions, the wheels fall of my cart.
I do the quests in the wrong order, I get lost, I kill the wrong mobs.
Level 1 to 80 in 3 days my arse. .. It will take me 3 days played to get to level 10.
I installed coord mods years ago, have 2 or 3 quest helper type mods installed. I’m standing on the right coord, there is a big flashing icon on the mini map and big map. But, where the hell is the quest objective?
That mob is different to this mob?
One boar is the same as the next right?
Not when it comes to WoW quests. One river is the same as the next, unless you are fishing for quest items. One entrance to Black Rock Mountain is the same as the next, right?
I doubt I need to say any more, it’s painful to fill your pack with vendor trash killing the wrong mobs.
Where did I leave that thing?
My bank etc is either overflowing with unnecessary quest items, or the quest item is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or I delete/sell the item only to pick up the quest tomorrow.
Any other symptoms of quest impairment you can think of?
edit: (post original draft, pre release)
I have made up for my cruelty to animals…
Ohhh.. and just quietly… I picked up Teleport: Dalaran last night (No thanks to WoWInsider for sending me to my near death at the Horde quest giver… Alliance Quest here.). So yes, I dinged 71 during a time exchange (for tomorrow night) grinding session.
For the record… the average Gnome would probably have dinged 72, but I was running around in circles, within circles… Quest Impairment FTL!
Gnomer and Out!