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How to: AFK in Raids: a noob’s guide to collecting badges

It’s easy to AFK in Battlegrounds, and we all know how, right?
I mean I see enough of it myself, and certainly read enough about it on the blogs.

Everyone loves and AFKer right?

Anyhow, AFKing in a Raid is an Art, requiring special skills and abilities.  It isn’t open to all classes.

• If you are a tank class, you might as well stop reading.
• The sole healer? This strategy probably isn’t for you either.

For the rest of you, the DPS classes, primarily the ranged DPS classes, this is a guide on how to rack up the badges and phat loot by AFKing in Raids.

It works for Honor, so why not for badges?

The 1st rule of AFKing is to be an active participant.
What?  How can you be active and AFK at the same time?

Well there are degrees of AFK, there’s:

• AFK – Literally away: Doing the dishes, taking the kids to school, a quicky to say goodnight to your partner.
• Semi-AFK: Your not really there.  You are otherwise occupied:  Watching TV, Staring out the window, Browsing the Web (Maybe checking out the phat loot that is dropping while you are AFK)
• Pseudo-AFK: You are watching the game, but not participating in the Raid: Chatting in Guild Chat, Showing off your Epic loot to mates in whispers, Hawking your goods on Trade channel (Or maybe just boasting on Trade channel how you are with a bunch of noobs that are farming badges for you… been there, seen that!)

Lines of Communication

Whatever you do, you need to be communicating with the Raid – especially during check points. eg:

• Ready Checks
• Loot Distribution
• Strategy Discussion
• Group Hugs (I mean rebuffing)
• Kicking those other lazy AFKers.

It is very helpful if you have a wireless headset/mic (but sound throug speakers will do) for this because:

1. You can continue chatting (You can’t be AFK, can you?)
2. You can hear those cues for action, or questions regarding your status – Get to know the various sound prompts from the game!

Follow the Healer
OK, the next key to AFK Raiding is to follow the healer (or if you are Mellee DSP, follow the tank or another Melee toon).

• That way you are always moving with the group.
• They will always stand at a nice safe range
• You will probably be standing behind them, so the wont notice you aren’t casting.
• If you pick a toon with a short casting range, all the better.  You are likely to get a bit of AoE love.  Taking damage = needing heals = You can’t be AFK!

Ready for Ready Checks.
You must be ready for Ready Checks, they are a dead giveaway, and people are more annoyed waiting for a response to ready checks than anything else – because they have to repeatedly press the Ready button.  However, once you have pressed the Ready button, know you have 10 unadulterated minutes of leaisure time.

Isn’t it rude when people leave the dinner table early?

Be a slow eater (It’s good for your health)
Don’t let their rudeness spoil your meal.  Make sure you loot, then buff as everyone else finishes.  Then sit down to eat & drink.  With 9/10 or 24/25 people ready, the Raid will push on, and you can relax and go and prepare a Real Life gourmet meal.

Best part of this is often when they wipe, you are Out of Combat.  Thus you can jist sit and relax for another 10 minutes while they ghostrun and rebuff.  Just be ready for the Ready Check this time.

Die Early and Often.
This is actually a Twinking trick.  You don’t earn XP when you are dead, but you are still eligible for the reputation and loot.

So the trick here is to pull aggro A.S.A.P., get thumped and die.  Preferably stand apart from the rest of the raid, as you don’t want to take the healers with you.  Dead Healers = Dead Raid = no AFK Time *

* This isn’t quite true.

• 1) You can do an AFK death run by following another raid members ghost.  But remember you may get stuck on some environmental outcrop, and you will need to refresh your follow once you are in the raid instance.
• 2) I guess you could just wait for the Rez… but there is no phat loot waiting for you).

What Battle Rez?
Ohhh the bane of the Die Early and Often technique.
If you have been practising professional AFKing your damage will be so low that a Battle Rez wont be wasted on you.  However, if it is, cancel the offer and mumble some swearing and apologise.  If that it didn’t work, hurry up and die! (Autorun into AoE etc) you wont get a 2nd chance battle Rez!

Gief Mez da Lootz
If your Raid is being good to you the AFKer, they will pick your item 1st for DKP/Rolls.  Great, bid, roll, whatever you need to do, then walk away from your PC.  Remember, don’t loot your badges until everyone else has finished looting & eating … You don’t want to waste precious AFK moments and opportunities.

The Lock Out
Some boss encounters require you to be in a certain position or you get locked out of the battle (eg: Shade of Aran).  So make sure you are in the wrong position and get locked out.  Those AFK moments are free.

Feign DC.
Hunters can Feign Death to get out of combat… Well you can Feign DC.

Preferably set up the scene early in the run, with some “EXIT WOW” button pressing at non-loot-critical moments.  Then when you want to go AFK, kill your Voice Chat (only).  We all know that sometimes it can take a few minutes for the “Offline” to appear on your toon, so no voice comms is sometimes the only indication of a Disconnect.

Just don’t move your toon!

Start up voice comms and ask if you are offline yet… Then just start moving – BLAME BLIZZARD, you know it’s always their fault.

…………………

Actually I can’t go on… this seemed fun to begin with, but I fear some people will add this to their favourite strategy guide bookmarks…

Don’t do it folks!

Only noobs of the worst variety would do this.. and by noobs I don’t mean newbies, I mean complete and utter @$#Fhats!

Gnomer and Out!